Doctor, what do you mean you can't talk to me about my child?

Important considerations for parents of young adults


By Steve Davis, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™



MANSFIELD, MA:  It was a proud moment for the members of Mansfield’s largest ever graduating class. Each of them walked across the stage of the Comcast Center to receive their diplomas -- and thunderous applause from family and friends. My wife and I were there cheering one of our boys and the conversation we shared with other parents was about times past. “Remember when came here direct from the Little League fields so we could watch the kids perform in the Jordan Jackson band? They were so tiny then.” But here we were a dozen years later watching our “kids” walk off the stage into adulthood. Where did the time go?

For parents of young adults, it may come as a surprise to learn that once our children become legal adults at age 18, they and they alone are responsible for making their own medical and financial decisions. This means that if your son or daughter has an accident or is unable to make decisions about his care, you would be powerless to help – even as parents. While your son may still be your dependent, you are no longer considered his legal guardian. Under the federal HIPAA rules, your teen’s medical records are between him and his doctors. Similarly, no bank officer or college purser will break privacy rules to discuss your child’s financial account status or even grades. And just because you pay the tuition doesn’t override the school’s privacy policy. Your daughter’s finances are as private as yours.

Helping with Health Care Decisions:

It’s every parent’s nightmare. You might be informed that your child had an accident and is in the hospital, but legally, you cannot get any information about your child’s condition or treatment. As a dad, I can’t imagine a situation that would produce stronger feelings of helplessness and frustration.

So, what’s a parent to do? The first step is to have an adult conversation with your adult child. Explain that in the event of a medical emergency you would be unable to help unless you are given prior permission. According to Easton attorney Karen McSherry, “A properly executed health care proxy and durable power of attorney grants a parent authorization to make health care decisions if your child is incapacitated, and grants you access to your child’s medical records so you can have discussions with doctors and insurance companies.” When you speak with your adult child, you should agree in advance how and why such documents would be used. Your son or daughter should also know that they remain in charge of their own affairs since the documents can be revoked at a later date.

Without prior approval, the only other option for parents of an incapacitated adult child is to petition the probate court for guardianship. This is often a long and expensive process that only gives you the ability to help once the court appoints you as guardian.


Helping with Financial Decisions:

Before we know it, the summer will be over and many of these recent high school grads will be heading off to college. Hopefully, we won’t see them on TV at the big game holding a sign that reads, “Hi Dad, send money!” But if your student needs help with banking, financial aid, or has a problem with his credit card while travelling overseas, for example, you’ll be unable to help unless you have a durable power of attorney.

According to McSherry, “Properly drafted documents will give parents peace of mind because they know they’ll be able to help with ordinary transactions, plus deal with financial and medical emergencies.”


Action Steps:

So, while your kids are still living under your roof, take some time to talk with them about these important matters. Before your son or daughter heads off for school and beyond, visit your local attorney to discuss your specific situation. Better safe than sorry.



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This article was written by Steve Davis and appeared in the column "Talking with Davis about Money Matters" found at http://mansfield-ma.patch.com/articles/doctor-what-do-you-mean-you-cant-talk-to-me-about-my-child


The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

How to Select a Financial Advisor

By Steve Davis, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™


You remember what it felt like when your friends were outside playing in the sun and you were stuck inside doing chores for mom and dad, right? Well, if that’s how it feels when you’re sitting down to do your financial plans, it may be time to hire a financial advisor. In part 1 of this series we looked at 3 Reasons to Hire a Financial Advisor. In this column, we’ll explore the process of choosing the best financial advisor for you.

Trust:  The absolute most important step is to find someone you can trust. But selecting an advisor takes more than that; just ask anyone who has listened to their stock-punting uncle and later regretted it. Not only is trustworthiness important, but so too is competence. Integrity without competence is no bargain so here are some tips to help you find a good financial advisor.

Experience: I don’t know about you, but with matters that are important to me, I’m not comfortable letting a rookie practice on my family. An advisor should have an appropriate level of business experience. Would you be comfortable hiring a financial advisor who was partying in his college frat house when the 2008 market crash occurred? Or even the dotcom crash in 2000? Advisors who have not experienced at least two market cycles probably don’t have enough perspective.

Education: Anyone can hang a shingle as a "financial planner" so determine what qualifies that person to offer financial planning advice. A good place to start is to find a professional who holds a recognized financial planning designation such as a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP). A CFP has passed a rigorous test administered by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards on topics ranging from investments and insurance to tax, estate and retirement planning. CFPs must also commit to continuing education and a code of ethics in order to maintain their designation. The CFP credential is a good sign that a prospective planner will give sound financial advice, but even those who pass the exam may come up short in other areas.

Compensation and Independence: An advisor should clearly tell you how he or she will be paid. This is typically done through commissions and/or fees. If your advisor is exclusively commission based make sure he is not a thinly-designed salesman who is incented for pushing a company’s product. Instead, find an advisor who can help you choose unbiased financial products from many of the nation’s leading investment managers, not just those offered by his employer. If your advisor is compensated by charging fees, ask whether the fee is based on a percentage of the assets he manages for you, or whether he is charging an hourly fee. Beware of the “full financial plan for a flat fee” option. These plans are sometimes long on glossy pages and charts, but short on specific advice for your unique circumstances. Additionally, these flat fee plans often offer no guidance on how to implement the recommendations and often fail to provide ongoing service as your situation evolves over time.

Communication: You can learn about an advisor’s communication skills by interviewing them, checking out their website, attending a seminar they conduct, or by reading the articles they write. A good financial advisor is one who communicates clearly and the best advisors are the ones who are able to make the complicated easy to understand. Sadly, it seems some financial planners try to impress (or intimidate) clients by using technical jargon that isn’t understood. If you can’t explain in your own words what the advisor is recommending, don’t ever proceed!

Background Information: In the wake of the Bernie Madoff scandal, the importance of due diligence has become clearer than ever. Ask prospective advisors if they have ever been subject to disciplinary action. Several government organizations, such as the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) and your state insurance and security departments maintain records on the disciplinary history of financial planners and advisors. This information is in the public record and can easily be checked. If there is anything that makes you uncomfortable, go elsewhere.

Likeability: When you’re done interviewing potential advisors, you should be able to ask yourself one last question – Do I like this person? Hire people you like.



The Benefits of Hiring a Financial Advisor.  Managing your personal finances is ultimately your responsibility but you don’t have to do it alone. If you don’t have the time, interest or inclination to handle your own financial plans, hire a qualified professional, such as a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™. Together you’ll be able to identify your goals and manage your finances so that you can work toward making the most of your financial resources while also trying to avoid common mistakes. In the end, you want to find a professional that is trustworthy, competent and likeable. In other words, you want to select a financial advisor who is right for you.



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This article was written by Steve Davis and appeared in the column "Talking with Davis about Money Matters" found at http://mansfield-ma.patch.com/articles/how-to-select-a-financial-advisor


The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.